The Crown Jewels Reviews

"A few gems – but it won't reign on West End"

"Simon Nye's West End debut tells the true story of a madcap bid to snaffle Charles II’s crown, orb and sceptre"

"Nye and director Sean Foley have studded their venture with, if not acting royalty, then the upper echelons of entertainment celebrity (including MBB’s Neil Morrissey)."

"The evening has one comic jewel in its crown. Al Murray – making his straight acting debut – successfully applies the commanding presence and ad-libbing elan he has perfected as the Pub Landlord to the role of Charles II."

"Wherever else you look, though, talent is fitfully but not especially fruitfully employed. Mel Giedroyc gamely gurns away as Edwards’ gap-toothed, gormless spouse, stooping to conquer with bawdy Bake Off in-jokes. Carrie Hope Fletcher is knowing typecast in the mock Cinders role of their must-be-wed daughter, bursting into unwanted musical song."

"That it works as well as it does at times is no mean feat, but, lacking a strong raison d’etre besides giving us a nibble of history and a few baubles of mirth, this interloper’s reign looks set to be short-lived and immemorable."

"Al Murray's King Charles is hilarious in otherwise plodding play"

"The Crown Jewels review. Al Murray's King Charles II stand-up just about saves this mediocre comedy."

"What follows in this theatrical production’s attempt to recreate history with a comic twist ends up being more average Carry On than witty Blackadder. The silly retelling is mildly amusing with gentle bawdy humour, but the stretched-out plot struggled to keep our attention. Yet despite a number of jokes falling flat, there was the occasional show-stealing scene of genius that had the audience howling with laughter."

"Additionally, Carrie Hope Fletcher’s excellent vocals were always a joyous delight when she occasionally broke into song. Overall, there’s just about enough here for an amusing evening out but it might be a bit much for those only mildly interested in the true story."

"A polished gem? More like amateur panto"

"What a mess. The stately music of Purcell pours from speakers before the curtain rises but decorum goes out of the window once Simon Nye’s woeful attempt at rekindling the spirit of Restoration comedy starts."

"Al Murray, more accustomed to pulling pints as the Pub Landlord on the stand-up circuit, does his best to inject spontaneity into proceedings; his improvised lines as a leering Charles II go some way to lifting the mood. Sadly, Nye’s scattergun re-telling of the real-life story of Colonel Blood, the 17th-century Irish adventurer who launched a raid on the Tower of London, has all the polish of an amateur-hour panto."

"I’d hoped that the director Sean Foley — who made such a spry job of the West End version of Ben Elton’s Shakespearean sitcom, Upstart Crow — would be able to carry off a similar trick. He’s defeated, however, by a muddled script that squanders a supporting cast"

"Publicity material describes The Crown Jewels at the Garrick Theatre in London as a “riotous new comedy”. The trouble with publicity material is that it tends to be written before a show has opened, even before the start of rehearsals."

"There are moments when “mildly amusing” or “whimsical” might have been justified. “Based on a true story” would have been fair, because the plot is loosely about Colonel Thomas Blood’s attempted theft of the Crown Jewels in 1671. As far as the rest of the show goes, the publicity material should say “undercooked”, “patchy” and “heaven knows how they hooked Carrie Hope Fletcher”.

"The theft could have been carried out with derring-do or gymnastic slapstick. Alas, it is done with sub-Monty Python silliness."

"Al Murray is aimless comedy's saving grace"

"Writer Simon Nye turns an eccentric moment in British history into a messy, limp comedy"

"A fantastic premise for a play – and yet Men Behaving Badly writer Simon Nye manages to turn this eccentric moment in British history into a bafflingly limp history lesson disguised as a comedy. There are a few laughs, sure, owing far more to Al Murray’s spectacularly over-the-top performance as Charles II than anything else. But long, meandering stretches feel hopelessly like a first draft, and direction by Sean Foley works against the grain of the play."

"Murray also plays Charles II – and when he does, the production suddenly comes alive. He uses his decades of stand-up experience to break away from the script and play with the audience."

"Nye is attempting, it seems, to write a Restoration comedy, its language and humour accurate to the time. But Foley directs it like a contemporary farce. The two approaches are worlds apart, and the humour gets lost in middle."

"Royal comedy is lacklustre, but Al Murray and Mel Giedroyc still sparkle"

"Comedy about a real-life attempt to steal the crown jewels from Charles II is somehow tame, obvious and baffling at the same time"

"The Crown Jewels is not pretending to be subtle. After all, this is a historical comedy written by the creator of Men Behaving Badly and starring a cast of comedians; broad, slapstick humour is what the audience should expect. But despite this, Simon Nye’s first original play somehow manages to be tame, obvious and impenetrable at the same time, leaving the actors flailing as they try to mould the bland script into something worthwhile. With stand-up comic Al Murray (in his West End debut) and Mel Giedroyc leading the cast, you should, at least, hope for something funny, but the moments of humour are few and far between. Anyone expecting a right royal knees up will be sorely disappointed."

"There is, however, a saving grace to The Crown Jewels: Murray and Giedroyc. It’s hard not to be charmed by Murray"

"Despite Mel Giedroyc and Al Murray, this is a vulgar, tragic mess"

"A cast stuffed with British comedy talent is wasted on Simon Nye’s rotten, ribald attempt at Restoration historical romp"

"...this script is a long way off being worthy of a place on any, let alone a West End stage."

"Director Sean Foley has banded together a cast of some big UK talent. But almost all of them are pitifully wasted. Mel Giedroyc is done a particularly great disservice; she’s forced to coo in French accents and awkwardly gurn as the witless wife of Talbot Edwards (also played by Murray) who guards the crown."

"And then there’s Carrie Hope Fletcher, star of the West End run of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cinderella, who arrives warbling a cacophonous song composed by One Man, Two Guvnors songwriter Grant Olding for no real reason other than to add more mundane content into an already rambling play."

"The stabs at humour are vulgar. Scenes are padded out to twice their required length. There is absolutely no sense of jeopardy – and even more worryingly, we simply don’t care."

"The cream of British comedy can’t find a funny line between them"

"The likes of Al Murray, Neil Morrissey and Mel Giedroyc can’t rescue Simon Nye’s woefully tedious show about the real-life heist of King Charles II’s crown jewels"

"There are two unforgivable crimes in this 17th-century heist caper based on the attempted robbery of King Charles II’s crown jewels by an Irish rebel. The first is that it manages to make an intriguing and little-known historical incident bland. The second is that it enlists some of the cream of British comedy – Al Murray in his stage debut, Neil Morrissey, Mel Giedroyc, Joe Thomas – and none of them manage to find a funny line between them. If there has to be a third, it is that it sets Carrie Hope Fletcher’s strong, beautiful voice to random, anodyne songs."

"There is some amusement to hearing Murray’s clipped, aristocratic vowels, while Fletcher is good as the stroppy Elizabeth and Thomas brings his Inbetweeners’ haplessness as Blood’s wimpy son, but this cannot sustain us for two hours."

"The cream of British comedy can’t find a funny line between them"

"The likes of Al Murray, Neil Morrissey and Mel Giedroyc can’t rescue Simon Nye’s woefully tedious show about the real-life heist of King Charles II’s crown jewels"

"There are two unforgivable crimes in this 17th-century heist caper based on the attempted robbery of King Charles II’s crown jewels by an Irish rebel. The first is that it manages to make an intriguing and little-known historical incident bland. The second is that it enlists some of the cream of British comedy – Al Murray in his stage debut, Neil Morrissey, Mel Giedroyc, Joe Thomas – and none of them manage to find a funny line between them. If there has to be a third, it is that it sets Carrie Hope Fletcher’s strong, beautiful voice to random, anodyne songs."

"There is some amusement to hearing Murray’s clipped, aristocratic vowels, while Fletcher is good as the stroppy Elizabeth and Thomas brings his Inbetweeners’ haplessness as Blood’s wimpy son, but this cannot sustain us for two hours."

"The more off-script the better"

"... Sean Foley’s lamentable, regally inspired production of The Crown Jewels"

"It manages to be at once simple-minded and confusing, skimpy and flabby – a show stuffed with stars but devoid of star quality."

"In a show that has a fair bit of audience-teasing impro, both actors [Mel Giedroyc & Al Murray] are miles better off-script than on it."

"Watching this made me wonder how Mike Bartlett’s play Charles III, first seen at the Almeida nine years ago, has stood the test of time. I seem to remember that Prince Harry appeared in it looking like a hunted fox…"