About Thirty Million Minutes

Vaudeville Theatre, London
Booking to 22 October 2016
No longer booking

Dawn French’s one woman show Thirty Million Minutes comes to London’s Vaudeville theatre.

Dawn French, Queen of British comedy, returns to London’s West End with her hugely popular show 30 Million Minutes.

The critically acclaimed 30 Million Minutes consists of various delights and riches, with the odd irksome tribulation thrown in, as Dawn takes audiences through the various lessons life has taught her, and the things she knows for sure. With a sharp eye for comic detail and a wicked ear for the absurdities of life, Dawn French of Cornwall shares how she has misguidedly spent her whole life vigorously attempting to be a fully functioning female human.

Her extraordinary lack of willpower, combined with an enviable knack for nosey parking and showing off, has driven her to grapple with the big stuff of life in public. 30 million minutes of life in fact. That’s how long she’s been alive, give or take a few minutes here and there.

It’s also worth coming if only to finally witness what size she actually is. Can we believe the stolen images of so many women’s magazines? What is the truth? Is she so unfeasibly large that she can hardly live? Or does she sleep in a matchbox? Marvel at how one woman can mercilessly murder so much chocolate, and yet remain so curiously slim…

Dawn says; “I shall be buying new pants in honour of this exciting opportunity to bring my show into London’s glittery West End, so every audience member can relax in the knowledge that I will be fully contained and utterly fragrant at all times.

Look, it’s not a play, it’s not stand up, it’s not a monologue, it’s not a slide show, but it’s something a bit like all of those with some alarming extreme striptease thrown in.

Please don’t bother with it if you don’t usually enjoy yourself, it’s only for marvelous lovely people.  All grumpy f******s should stay at home. Those of us who DO turn up, myself included, will share an evening we won’t forget in a hurry. I promise that.”

Thirty Million Minutes runs from 18 October 2016 until 22 October 2016 at the Vaudeville theatre.


Directed by Michael Grandage, with set and costume by Lez Brotherston, lighting and video by Willie Williams, with music and sound by Ben and Max Ringham. The show is written by Dawn French who has based it on her life and career.


★★★★★ “Genuinely enlightening” Daily Express

★★★★ “Searing emotional honesty” The Guardian

★★★★ “A life affirming phenomenon” Daily Telegraph

“Dawn French just gets better and better… The critics are raving about 30 Million Minutes” The Independent

“French is a winning performer” Daily Mail

“Buy a ticket” Mail on Sunday

Book ticket to Dawn French is A Huge Twat at the London Palladium

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Show Information

Performance dates
Booking to 22 October 2016
Running time
To be confirmed

Important Notes

Running Time: 2 hours 20 minutes Age Restrictions: No under 12’s allowed

Venue Information

Vaudeville Theatre, 404 Strand, London, WC2R 0NH
Nearest Tube or Train: Charing Cross (Northern line, Bakerloo line), Embankment (Northern line, Bakerloo line, District line, Circle line)
Nearest Buses: 6, 9, 11, 13, 15, 23, 68, 7A, 91, 139, 176

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