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UKTV’s channel U&Dave has revealed this year’s 15 funniest gags of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2024.

Their funny list has become an annual staple of the Fringe.

The shortlist of 15 jokes were chosen by a panel of UK comedy critics, from shows running at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe, and anonymously voted for by the British public.

This year’s 2024 winner is comedian Mark Simmons, winning the U&Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe Award with: ‘I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it’.

The joke was taken from his PHB’s Free Fringe show at Liquid Room Annexe, and topped the list of funniest of the Fringe with 40% of Brits surveyed voting it the most hilarious joke.

Other jokes in the Top 15 include one-liners from the likes of Olaf Falafel, Arthur Smith and Chelsea Birkby.

U&Dave recruited an expert panel of judges, including some of the leading comedy critics in the UK and fellow comedians, to judge the awards.

The judges attended hundreds of shows across the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, and then submitted their ten favourite jokes. This shortlist was then posted anonymously – without the name of the comic involved – to a public vote of 2,000 Brits, after which the funniest list has been collated.

Mark Simmons first got into comedy after a friend convinced him to do an open mic night, and he did his first solo Edinburgh Fringe show back in 2014. Since then, Mark’s gags have placed 9th, 6th, and 2nd in U&Dave’s Joke of the Fringe.

At this year’s Edinburgh Fringe 2024, Mark is debuting his new show More Jokes at Liquid Rooms Annexe, running to 24 August 2024, plus a 200 date UK tour.

Mark Simmons said in a statement: “I’m really chuffed to win U&Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe. I needed some good news as I was just fired from my job marking exam papers, can’t understand it, I always gave 110%.”

The Awards are now in their fifteenth year, with previous winners including Lorna Rose-Treen,Masai Graham, Ken Cheng, Olaf Falafel, Tim Vine, Rob Auton, Stewart Francis, Zoe Lyons and Nick Helm.

Cherie Hall, U&Dave Channel Director, said in a statement: “We are ecstatic to announce this year’s winner of U&Dave’s Joke of the Fringe, Mark Simmons, and his winning joke. This year’s Top 15 list features a hilarious blend of jokes that are sure to keep us laughing until the next Joke of the Fringe! It’s already been an exciting year for us, with the return of World’s Most Dangerous Roads and the launch of Battle in the Box, while we are looking forward to Jamali Maddix: Follow The Leader and Will & Ralf Should Know Better. With the Joke of the Fringe now in its fifteenth year, U&Dave is still committed to supporting great comedy and brilliant gags.”

Also announced today are the nominations for the first The List Festival Awards 2024, including Edinburgh Fringe shows; and last Friday saw the second installment announced of the winners of this year’s The Scotsman Edinburgh Fringe First Awards.

U&Dave’s 15 Funniest Jokes of the Fringe 2024

  • I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it. – Mark Simmons
  • I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward… two steps back. – Alec Snook
  • Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful. – Alex Kitson
  • I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it. – Arthur Smith
  • I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.- Mark Simmons
  • My dad used to say to me “Pints, gallons, litres” – which, I think, speaks volumes – Olaf Falafel
  • British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons? – Chelsea Birkby
  • I wanted to know which came first the chicken or the egg so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I’ve cracked it. – Masai Graham
  • My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had – Zoë Coombs Marr
  • The conspiracy theory about the moon being made of cheese was started by the hallouminati. – Olaf Falafel
  • I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person: my pronouns are ‘there there’. – Sarah Keyworth
  • I’ve got a girlfriend who never stops whining. I wish I’d never bought her that vineyard – Roger Swift
  • Gay people are very bad at maths. We don’t naturally multiply. – Lou Wall
  • Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher – Sophie Duker
  • Growing up rich is a hereditary condition. It affects 1% of people – Olga Koch
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Main photo: U&Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe Award 2024 - Winner Mark Simmons

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